Wednesday, August 29, 2018

God's Purpose With Marriage With Baba Bishop Nelson Nzvimbo in Building Happy Marriages (Part 2)

What Is Marriage?

God's plan with every marriage is that two people should become one. They will become like one person, and share everything with each other. 

They will no longer speak of "my house" or "my children" but of "our house" and "our children". They share their possessions, ideals, plans, and deepest thoughts with each other. A marriage is the union of two people who love each other.

If two people wish to become one, they must give themselves to each other in marriage. The man gives herself to her husband. This is one of the secrets of a happy marriage: to give yourself. To love means to give yourself. If you love your wife, you give yourself to her. If you love your husband , you give yourself to him. The husband must accept his wife the way she is, and the wife must accept her husband the way he is.

Marriage is also a covenant, a promise. Of his own free will the husband unites himself to his wife to live for her. Of her own free will the wife unites herself to her husband to live for him. They promise to help each other and to accept their partner's help as long as they live. And together they serve God and live for Him.

In order to be one in marriage, husband and wife must get to know and understand each other. They tell each other their deepest thoughts and feelings. Therefore they should talk to each other and listen to very carefully to each other. The husband can tell his whatever day what happened at work, and about his plans. She must know about his job and his thoughts , in order to to support him. The wife can apro tell her husband what she doing that day, and about the children and her job. She could tell him about the friends that she visited, and about whatever makes her happy or afraid.
Bishop Nelson & Mama Mirriam Nzvimbo
The more they get to know each other, the more that become one. And remember, if anybody travels his deepest thoughts and feelings to you, you must not tell it to anybody else. The married couple must be able to trust each other completely with such thoughts.

Marriage is a union of the Spirit and the body. The couple do not only know each other's thoughts, feelings and wishes, but also each other's bodies [Genesis 2:24-25]. Just as they reveal their thoughts to each other, they they also reveal their bodies to each other. Their bodies become one in sexual union. In this way their spiritual union is confirmed. The union of the Spirit and the union of the body must go together.

Marriage And The Community

Two people who live together without being married have no foundation for their life together. They cannot improve a marriage that does not exist. After a while they may lose respect for each other and break up. Living together without being married only brings heartbreak, dishonor and shame.

In the Christian tradition we believe it is wrong for two people to live together without first getting married in public. A marriage forms a solid foundation on which they can build their life together.

In order to be legally married, we need other people. The man and woman should ask the advice and help of their parents when they choose a partner for life. God gives parents and a family to every person to support him or her in life. But we would usually say the children should choose for themselves whom they want to marry. The parents should not force their children into a marriages. The children must hve the main say, since they will have to live with their choice for the rest of their life. However, young people should listen to their parents. They know more about life and can therefore give good advice.

Of course, there are churches where marriages are arranged for young people. In some cultures parents choose for their children. They see this a protection against wrong relationships before marriage. We must therefore acknowledge the fact that there are differences about the issue. We find examples of both practices in the bible. Rebecca was chosen for Isaac, but Jacob chose Rachel (although Leah was given to him by her father).

In Africa, The whole community is also involved in the marriage of two of their people. The whole community must know that these two people are now joined together, and that nobody is allowed to come between them. Even in this regard, different nations have different customs about marriage. But it is always important that the marriage must be recognized by other people. This gives safety and protection to the marriage. Them it can be improved and built up like a house with a solid foundation.

In our country, where contracts are important, the state (government) also takes an interest in the wedding. The state arranges the contract between two people who are getting married. It is the state that declares the marriage between husband and wife to be legal and proper in the eyes of the law. Thus is why legally married couples receive a marriage certificate. It is the proof that they are legally married according to the laws of the country.

Both the couple and marriage officer must obey the marriage laws. This is why a marriage officer must know the law and according to it. The officer must make sure that the marriage is legal. For example, it is not legal to marry someone who is already married, or whom is closely related to you. If you are legally married, you have protection and safety. You know your partner will not easily leave you because he or she is bound to you by the law of the country. It is a legal contract.

However, marriage is above all a bond that God uses to join two people together. It is the Spirit and love of God that brings the husband and wife together. "So they are no longer two, but one" (Matthew 19:6).

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